I've never been so aware of it.

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

I'm like a rogue bouncy ball, flying every which where every second.

One minute I'm fine.
The next I'm walking past Alex's room as I climb the stairs,
and I can't help but go in,
lay in his bed,
and think to myself,
"He slept here so many times."
And cry.

One minute I'm okay.
The next I'm angry to the point where I almost can't gain control
nearly wanting to beat
some trashy girls to the floor
for coming late,
dressing tacky,
and letting their inappropriate ringtones go off
and then not even bother to put the phone on silent, let alone turn it off.

He wanted to go to the University of Florida.

When I heard that part I couldn't hold it in.
I bawled.

And walking around this campus,
I can't help but think
that I could have been showing him around
three years from now.

Why...? Why him?

And now I'm on pins and needles about death in general.

It happened to him, the boy that was so young and full of life.
If it could happen to him
it could just as easily happen to the rest of us.

So cherish every moment
live laugh and love
but be smart about it.
Be safe
'cause you don't want a good memory
to become the last one you'll ever have.